There was one particular incident that lead to Anansi's thirst for his friends blood. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Anyways, I'm getting sidetracked. That is besides the point. On a day that the two were walking through the town market together, Anansi had seen many beautiful women and asked that they switch clothes so that he can gain the affection of them. Nothing agreed, for it would only be for a short time. Anansi succeeded in his mission and had four beautiful women follow him home, two on each arm. Nothing, in all his rags, did not expect to find someone, but there he found his wife who loved him for him and not what he had. Nothing had never found someone so special.
However, upon finding that Anansi was poor, the women left him. He had found out that Nothing still got what he wanted even pretending to be poor, so he became envious. And not a simple kind of envious, but an envious that takes over your whole being and clouds your mind. This is what became of Anansi. All he wanted was revenge.
So, every few days, Anansi would subtly try to kill Nothing. Whether it be a slip of poison, a sly trap, or random arrows shot from a far distance. It is said Anansi became the most clever in these days, because he spent all his time thinking of creative ways to execute his mission. To his dismay, though, each of his plans was thwarted either by Nothing's wife, or the extra protection from guards she sought for them to have. Anansi grew to hate her too, for she stood in his way.
Every time Nothing had caught a glimpse of his friend turned enemy, he saw the distraught, the anger, the weeping in his eyes. He knew Anansi was lost and any slimmer of hope of him returning was lost too. But somewhere, deep down, Nothing knew Anansi had hated who had become. He could see his old self screaming for help. But, there was nothing anyone could do for he had chosen this path himself. Nothing felt sorry for him. He was angry at Anansi for a long while but that anger was eventually replaced by pity.
Not long after, Nothing had gotten news that Anansi had been killed. It was believed that he died from working on his dangerous new plan and a large amount of grief and sorrow. And after that, he had become just a small memory in many people's minds.
Except mine.
I guess this is less of a story than it is a goodbye letter. My dear Anansi, I forgive you my old friend. Sleep well.
Sincerely,
Nothing.
"A Yellow Rose" Source: Wikimedia Commons |
Bibliography: "Anansi and Nothing" by William H. Barker and Cecilia Sinclair, with drawings by Cecilia Sinclair, from West African Folktales (1917).
Web Source: MythFolklore UnTextbook
Wow! What a great retelling of the original story. And with a twist at the end! I liked how you kept part of the original story, but switched the ending. The twist at the end was well disguised as I didn't know it was Nothing who was telling the story. I think some dialogue would've made their friendship look more interesting, but since it was actually a goodbye letter, it worked out. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThe name "Nothing" made me ponder the most. How to get that name. Who would do that. What would Nothing feel like. Does Nothing feel like nothing or does it push one to become even more something than anyone else. Just an interesting detail. I also love the name Anansi, almost like Anasazi which is a dope word to me haha I don't know why. But good retelling. It's somber. Hit the emotions. But thats what good writing is capable of. Nice work.
ReplyDeleteHey Christineie,
ReplyDeleteThis was a wonderful retelling. there was so much going on it. I like the two twists that you put on it.not only did you switch up who dies but you also told it from the third person. You also did a very good job putting emotion into this story it was very touching at the end. well done
Hi Chrstine! First off, I want to say that I really, really enjoyed your story and I hope that you take any criticism I offer as constructive not judgemental. I think you did a really wonderful job on this story. I enjoyed the format and the twists you added to the story. I also liked the foreshadowing you added by including Nothing's feelings of pity toward Anasi. The only critiques I have are proofreading errors and small corrections you can make to improve the cohesiveness of your writing.
ReplyDelete• in the second paragraph it should say “beside the point,”
• in paragraph 4 the second to last sentence, try to avoid passive voice and maybe say “extra protection from guards she hired.”
• in the first sentence of paragraph 5, consider using “distress” (noun) in place of “distraught” and “sorrow” in place of “weeping” to make the sentence consistent.
• second sentence paragraph 5, slimmer→glimmer or sliver, maybe?
Overall, I really enjoyed how you developed the characters via their emotions. Your descriptions showed me the characters instead of telling me.
I think that you chose your image thoughtfully and it was very fitting for the death of a friend. Great job!